Mentoring the Heart
It was the summer of 1976. I had just left the United States Air Force where I had been on active duty litigating government contract disputes and had moved with my wife, Nancy, to Roanoke, Virginia where I began my career in private practice with Martin, Hopkins and Lemon. Eager, but nervous about my new opportunity, I was grateful when. John Rocovich, the most junior partner in the firm, took me under his wing. He was only a few years older than I was and had already become the firm's hardest working and most successful partner. John was an ideal mentor - not because he was the perfect role model; there is no such thing - but because he possessed many traits I admired and wanted to emulate. We both were always the first ones to arrive at the office. Many mornings I would bring my cup of coffee to his office and sit and brainstorm ideas and learn from him. We never called it mentoring, but it was.
I vividly remember John encouraging me. He set high, challenging standards for me, but always made me feel he believed I could meet those standards. . I learned about client relationship building by his example and by the stories he told me. When my work was really good, he let me know. Perhaps most important of all, I learned the importance of taking time to be with my wife and daughter and to maintain a balance in life. John was a very hard worker, but he always took time to be there for his children's school or sporting events. With John, what I saw was what I got. He lived the life he shared with me in our morning conversations.
Leadership does not Equal Respect
I thought of John and my early days practicing law when I read Encouraging the Heart: A Leader's Guide to Rewarding and Recognizing Others, by James Kouzes and Barry Posner. They tell readers: "…don't confuse leadership with position and place. Don't confuse it with structures and systems, or tools and techniques. They're not what earn you respect and commitment from your constituents. What earns you their respect in the end is whether you are what you say you are, and whether what you are embodies what they want to become.”
John was an effective mentor for me because he embodied in his work and personal life what I wanted to become: the best lawyer possible, committed to client relationships and a strong family man. , Encouraging the Heart is a great book for firm leaders and for mentors. It is based on many studies of human nature and has many lessons we can apply to law firm mentoring.
When Kouzes and Posnerr asked in a survey: "Do I need encouragement to perform at my best?” they were surprised when only 60 percent of the respondents said yes. Many said they believed they were individuals with lots of personal initiative and responsibility and that needing encouragement implied they could not make it without a cheerleader. The authors decided to rephrase the question. They asked: "When you get encouragement, does it help you perform at a higher level?” This time 98 percent said yes. We should ask ourselves: do 98 percent of young lawyers get the encouragement they need?
I know I have always been inspired by encouragement. I will never forget when I was a junior in high school playing quarterback on our football team and had a bad game. My father wrote me a note encouraging me and letting me know he knew I could do it and he believed in me. I remember when as a young captain in the Air Force trying government contract cases against some of the best government contract litigators in the country, a senior Air Force Colonel encouraged me. Both sources of praise boosted my morale and my efforts to strive harder.
Do we senior lawyers give associates recognition for high quality work or service or going the extra mile for clients? Many times we let it slip. I think some senior lawyers did not get the positive feedback I received as a young lawyer.. Therefore, they are less inclined to give it. Our associates want feedback. They sincerely appreciate the pat on the back and the acknowledgment that their efforts are appreciated.
Kouzes and Posnerr outline that leaders who do their best to encourage the heart:
1. Set clear standards
2. Expect the best
3. Pay attention
4. Personalize recognition
5. Tell the story
6. Celebrate together
7. Set the example
In my view this is a great list for mentors and for law firms. I will take each point and discuss how we might use them to improve our mentoring by mentoring the heart of our associates.
Set Clear Standards
It should be no secret that associates, and for that matter partners, will likely perform at a higher level and enjoy their work more if they understand what is expected of them, what it takes to get a bonus and what it takes to get promoted. But, standards include more than just goals. Standards also include values or principles, which denote something more enduring. As the authors say: "values set the stage for action. Goals release the energy.
Our associates expect their firm and their firm's leaders to stand for something. They want to be proud of their firm and its partners and shareholders. They want the principles or values to be specific. If we say we focus on client service that is not enough. What does that mean? If we say our people are our most important asset, how do we demonstrate that is true? Mentors can play a valuable role by both articulating and modeling the firm's values. Associates will make a greater commitment to their firm if they believe the firm's values are aligned with their own.
Mentors also play a valuable role by helping associates establish goals and provide feedback. Goals give an associate a target and something on which to focus, the opportunity to "flow.” University of Chicago professor Mihaly Cskszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-high-ee) is chiefly renowned as the architect of the notion of flow in creativity; people enter a flow state when they are fully absorbed in activity during which they lose their sense of time and have feelings of great satisfaction. Mr. Csikszentmihalyi, in an interview with Wired magazine, describes flow as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost.".
I suggest that few young lawyers feel the pure joy or the effortlessness that Michael Jordan felt playing basketball. Cskszentmihalyi believes having clear goals help eliminate distractions and that the important function of goals is to get us moving with purpose and energy. Without clear goals many associates end up both distracted and focusing on billable hours rather than something more meaningful. I have always had goals and I have been most successful when I shared my goals with someone I respected, who then kept track of how I was doing. Associates with challenging career goals and frequent feedback on their progress are far more likely to enjoy their work and to ultimately be successful.
Expect the Best
Leaders and mentors both expect the best. They challenge their constituents and associates to achieve at a higher level. The Dallas Cowboys of 2003 are a good example. With essentially the same team that went 5-11 in the three preceding years, Bill Parcells took them to the playoffs. He made clear early in the training camp that he expected them to play at a significantly higher level than they had in the past. They did. Parcells describes his own mentoring process this way, " Something goes wrong, I yell at them -"Fix it"- whether it's their fault or not. You can only really yell at the players you trust.”
Kouzes and Posner cite hundreds of studies that clearly demonstrate that people tend to act consistently with the expectations of others and ways in which leaders can better communicate expectations. How can we lead and mentor our associates? We can make them feel more at ease. We can help them get interesting and challenging work. We can demonstrate we trust them. We can challenge them to do a better job and encourage them by conveying we believe they can deliver. Finally, we can once again give them positive feedback. Eventually associates will have higher expectations of themselves. This combination of elevated expectations - yours and the associate's - will yield powerful results for both the individual attorney and the firm.
Pay Attention
Leaders and mentors pay attention to details, to subtleties. Successful mentors can quickly perceive what is going on with the associate they are mentoring. They spot potential trouble - and opportunity - early. They do not wait for the associate to engage in discussion, they initiate the discussion. Kouzes and Posner suggest that successful mentors are curious. In a law firm, this curiosity might take the form of partners seeking to understand the different challenges facing a new associate today as opposed to when the partners were first starting out. They put an associate's needs at the save level as a client's and would be able to appreciate issues from the associate's point of view. .They are good listeners, but not just with their ears and brains but also with their eyes and hearts.
Personalize Recognition
Specific praise has greater impact than general kudos -"Great job on handling the Henderson case” is more effective than, "Keep up the good work.” Of even greater importance is personalizing praise. While one associate may respond well to a public back-patting in an office corridor, another might be more appreciative of a handwritten note. If we get to know our associates - understand what makes them feel good about themselves -- we can mentor them to greater advantage.
Tell the Story
U.S. philosopher Eric Hoffer has said that, Man is eminently a storyteller. His search for a purpose, a cause, an ideal, a mission and the like is largely a search for a plot and a pattern in the development of his life story—a story that is basically without meaning or pattern.” The best mentors are often the best storytellers, able to vividly pass along lessons learned. Noted trial lawyer Gerry Spence, who defines success as the ability to "freely bloom” also says that, "Storytelling has been the principal means by which we have taught one another from the beginning of time.”
As mentors one of the best ways we can teach associates is by telling stories. When we use stories we not telling associates what they should do. Instead we are illustrating through the story what works best.. If we are effective, associates will reach the conclusion on their own and will more readily accept the advice being offered.
Celebrate Together
We can also help personalize our mentoring relationships by paying attention to what our associates value most. We can look for clues in their offices. What is hanging on the walls? A copy of their law degree? Pictures of their children? Photographs of the beach or mountains? Motorcycle memorabilia? If we take an interest in and celebrate our associate's pleasures, we can increase their sense of community and belonging to the firm as well as use the opportunities to reinforce our firm's core values.
Set the Example
Finally, both leaders and mentors must set an example. A firm's culture and values will reflect the examples set by its partners. Associates may mirror the way their mentor handles certain matters. If the mentor is focused on client service, then the associate will likely focus on it. If the mentor performs to superior standards, then the associate will likely produce high quality work.. On the other hand, if the mentor doesn't return client phone calls or keep clients informed about the status of matters affecting them, then the associate may give client service equally low priority.. Associates want to believe we can be trusted as mentors to do what we say we are going to do. Each day we communicate to associates whether we are the real deal and someone they should aspire to become.
Mentoring from the heart requires time and effort, but the rewards for the mentor and for the firm are great. Law firms need to clearly articulate their core values and their expectations. Mentors need to articulate and model those values, help associates set goals and provide feedback, raise the level of expectations they have for associates, pay close attention by listening carefully and seeking to find what makes the associates unique individuals, personalize recognition, teach by telling stories, celebrate associates successes and be a role model for associates to follow.
